Tuesday, September 06, 2005

WFRP Update 30

The spatter of raindrops through the window finally awoke me from my slumber. The last thing I remember is pain...far too much pain to even begin to talk about. A voice from the darkness brought me fully to my senses.
"It's just a bit of water son. Not like that flood that besieged ole castle Wittgenstein."
Of course, the wee man was sitting quietly, watching my every move. How I had come to despise the diminutive being; I wanted to throttle the life out of him.
He handed me my writing gear, being careful to stay out of reach. At first I protested, feigning injury, not wanting to aid the egotistical bastard anymore. But, once he mentioned that it was him or the inquisitor, I found it in my heart to forgive him and tell his story for a bit longer.
"The rain was coming down in buckets that night. We couldn't keep a torch lit on pain of death". He snickered and smiled at me as he said the last. "But luckily for us we didn't need one. The lightning was as constant as any torch would be."
"We exited from the guard house into the inner courtyard. Some pretty strange sights I have to say. We could see some sort of glass house off to one side that looked choked with plants, so we avoided it for a while. We had to walk past the garden and I almost lost an arm trying to keep Magdelaine from going to examine the strange plants in there. I'm no elf, so I can't be telling you exactly what they was, but when a vine is as thick as my leg and ends with what looks like a sucker, it be a good idea to avoid it. Too bad that I didn't have any good ideas that night. I must have been too busy trying to keep Magdelaine alive."
"So we had a choice between the castle proper, a temple and some small tower. Well, we hear some strange, rhythmic music coming from the temple, so we figured that it would be prudent to start there. We kick open the doors and got an immediate education in having a good time. This purple mist be covering the entire floor of the temple, barely covering all of the writhing bodies. At first I was thinking that they was being tortured, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves and the lack of clothes seemed to support that.
"Now, Corobath must have blown his lid at that point, for the fella just started grabbing bodies and throwin them out of the temple. Rudolpho tried to help, but he seemed more interested in feeling up the naked fella than actually doing anything useful, so I decide that this be a good time to see what be happening on the upper floor of the temple. Maybe I can spot me the musician and find out what all this be about. As I start up the stairs I see the strangest sight that I have seen in all my days of travel. Elpham goes wandering into the purple haze and starts dancing. DANCING!! Have you ever seen a dwarf dance?? It is not a pretty sight....the thought of it still gives me nightmares.
"That was probably what distracted me so much. See, I got to the top of the stairs and looked around to see this organ that was playing itself. All of the pipes were blasting full bore and the keys were dancing on their own. And somehow, I missed this massive mutated tentacle that was growing out of one of the pipes. Anyway, the damn thing grabbed me and started dragging me towards one of the pipes. Maybe I shouldn't have put a crossbow bolt into it. I start yelling for the rest of them to stop playing with their new friends and get up here to help me. Too bad Rudolpho took that to mean that he should start sucking back purple haze faster than a dwarf goes at a free keg of ale. At least Corobath was there to help me hack through that damn thing. Corobath starts hacking away at the keys with his sword while I run down to try and snap Rudolpho out of his interpretive dance. I also grabbed Magdelaine and got her inside to help and we had the organ wheezing it's last breath really quick.
"Elpham finished his ode to the dwarven stone cutter dance and started checking out the altar....and managed to discover some sort of demon bitch!! I can't see how he could have missed it, she was just standing there pretending to be a statue. Now, I saw that foul wench as I was putting bolts into her head and I have to say I can't see how anyone would have been fooled by her. And if Rudolpho can kill the thing with one of his poorly placed arrows, I can't see how it would have been a threat to anyone. The way that Elpham was carrying on, one would have thought that it was an army of the undead coming to rip his beard hairs out one by one."
The rain had finally stopped and the sounds of the city slowly filtered in between the bars.
"Damn thing just vanished in a puff of smoke after that. Almost like it was a dream. I don't know if it was the lose of the music or the statue, but the people on the floor seemed to lose their enthusiasm. Which made it a lot easier for us to remove them from the temple. Now I don't know that throwing them into the garden with them strange tentacles was such a good idea, but Corobath assured us that they was all part of some chaos cult and it was for the best. Are you going to argue with a priest that has been blessed by the hand of Sigmar himself? I sure wasn't.
"Now I'd be lying it I said that was the strangest thing that we done see in that castle. After we catch our breath we noticed that there was more music coming from a small tower. Well, since we had such fun with the last music maker, we decide that we should barge in there as well. So, Elpham kicks in the door and we end up looking at this floor that seems to wave at us. Once the lightning flashed we see that it's actually a carpet of cockroaches that eventually scatter a bit."
The wee man kicked up his feet and waved his harry toes at me.
"Now, for some reason I felt no reason to go stomping through that tower, so I decide that I'm going to keep watch down here. So they all go stomping and squishing off into the tower. After a few minutes Rudolpho comes down telling some strange story about a giant cockroach dressed as a noble. What can you expect? With all of them roaches in there, who knows what kind of strange fumes and vapors are in there? No wonder he was seeing things. He wandered over to this large grated pit and came back screaming about how the walls were screaming at him and trying to eat him. All of you longshanks are crazy if you ask me.
"So eventually the rest of the heroic band returns from their roach stomp and we decide that it is time to finally finish our assault on the castle. I must have blinked, or been deafened by the thunder, because the next thing I know, Elpham and myself are standing at one of the two doors into the castle. How I ended up with the stone dancer I don't know, but I wasn't given any chance to voice my objections since I see the rest of them smash open their door and rush inside.
So Elpham and I storm through the doors; right into the kitchen. The only good thing I can say is that it was dry and warm. Although the fat blob that confronted us was no cook and after my bolt caught him the chest he wasn't even living. There was some slip of a fool hiding behind the blob that tried to smack us with a pan, well, more of a skillet, but Elpham eventually straightened out his attitude. I had actually considered stopping for a bite to eat, but the stench coming from the pots was such that I preferred to go back outside. Anyway, we head through some doors trying to catch up with the others and we find ourselves outside again. We was on a small balcony looking at some beehives. And just like every other chaos tainted thing in that cursed castle, they was nowhere near normal. They had a hole in the front that was the size of my head. I tried to image a bee that was that big and decided that it just wasn't worth the effort. And besides, about that time the other door opens and Rudolpho is yelling at us to come in out of the rain.
"We follow him into a great dining hall and end up following some butler that was probably old when Sigmar walked the earth. He takes us up to a guest room and tells us that it is the only one left and we'll all have to share it. I guess that Rudolpho didn't like the smell of wet dwarf even more than the rest of us, 'cause he goes down to the next door, kicks it open and lets loose with his pistol. Too bad the fool can't hurt anything with that expensive club. Next thing I see, he back peddling out of that room, trying to beat the beastman with his bow. Elpham and Corobath go rushing in to fight the beast and then the other door opens and an even bigger chaos beast comes stepping out. Damn thing had these stretchy arms that reached across the hallway to smack Elpham around. So, once again it was up to me to save the day. I lined up with my crossbow and put a bolt through the beastman's heart. Needless to say he went down like a sack of potatoes. It took me a while to find a shot again, but my next one ripped into the chaos warriors knee and he toppled over. Yeah, with out me out there I'm sure that the rest of those soft little fools...."
I could take no more of his prattling. I threw my papers to the ground and started screaming at him. I hurled every vial insult at him that I could think of. Throughout it all he simply sat there, puffing on his pipe and smiling at me.
When I finally dropped to the floor of my cell, exhausted, my throat raw, he stood up and walked to the door. He opened it and stepped through.
"I think that he's ready for you again. Remember, he writes with his left hand."
The hooded man closed the door behind him.