Wednesday, April 13, 2005

WFRP Update 21

The beer disappeared down the story tellers throat faster than it had been poured.
"Well, I can't actually tell ya what went on with Rudolpho and the Boatmen. See, I was too busy trying to avoid them three priests of Mor that decided to bring their charge into the inn with them. What madness was that? Who keeps a dead man in an inn? Anyways, they gets a room and disappear for the night.

"'Round this time, Rudolpho and his lovers or whatever they be, come back from the boat and get down to some serious drinking...right up until the amazon walks in. I don't be understanding the attraction to them warrior types. A woman should have curves...and be able to make a mean pie. There was this one cook....yea gods!! She made this wonderful elvish berry pie and she included....

The wee man rambled on for well over an hour, and 5 beers, describing the intricate flavours of the lady's pie before I was able to stop him and bring him back to the story at hand.

"Oh...anyway. Rudolpho immediately heads over to the wench and starts trying to charm his way into her bed. I couldn't be passing up this opportunity, so I gets me rather smelly bag of horse droppings and present it to him as the cure for his affliction...right in front of the lady. She turned colder than a witches nipple!!
"Ahh the look on his face was worth the problems that came about. Seems that someone forgot to keep a close eye on Magdelaine and she went chasing some servant into the common room. I don't know what she said, but she got dragged out of there, clothes half off and blabbering about paying some guy for something. I suppose that we really should have explained to her how this whole whore business was supposed to work. Anyways, she starts telling us that the servant and the noble that was staying upstairs had some exchange on the stairs and that she was trying
to figure out what was going on.

"But leave it to Elpham to save us from that wandering pointless explanation. Somehow he started drinking with Bruno, the champion for the lady noble and quick as a wink Elpham is dropped to the floor, snoring into his beard. Corobath claims that the beer was poisoned, but since that seemed to get the barkeep damn angry at us, we just dragged the hairy sot back to the boat.

"now is you following all this? 'Cause it only gets more complicated from here on in.

"Rudolpho and me is enjoying our drink when the noble, the just married one, uhh, named Fredrick, comes down and wants us to deliver a message to the servant that he had the argument with. So, I head off to do that and Magdelaine and Rudolpho head upstairs. They say that they was going to spy on the noble. Was that the truth? Only they know...and I don't be asking questions. So, the servant heads upstairs and I finish my drink. Seems that I should have been the one going upstairs, 'cause I had barely wiped the foam from my mouth when Rudolpho comes running down the stairs, with a sheet in his hand screaming that there had been a murder. He starts claiming that the noble Fredrick had killed the servant, so the barkeep and us all head up the stairs. Did I mention that Fredrick was recently married? Well, he was and from the sounds coming from his room, he was enjoying himself. Now maybe we could have just claimed that Rudolpho had too much to drink, but then Magdelaine comes out of her room asking why someone had thrown a body through the door. So, now Rudolpho and Magdelaine is locked in a room and they'll be tried for murder come morning.

"So, now I need a drink to relax and try and figure out how to get us out of this mess. Elpham and Corobath come back in and join me in a drink. And then we get a scare. Seems that the lawyer for the other noble, the Gravin, wants to talk to us. He starts telling us that there is a group of travellers in the room across the way that is trying to blackmail him and that he's appreciate it if they was kept quiet and occupied until the morning. That was about the time that Corobath started claiming that the inn was infested with the taint of chaos and stomped off downstairs. Now this lawyer, and no...I don't remember his name!!! This lawyer, he says that he'll include Corobath's pay in ours if we do the job, so Elpham and me look at 15 crowns a piece and decide that we's not all that innocent. I let Elpham do all the hard work, since he seem so happy to be beating people up. A few punches later and these two fellas be snoring happily. Lucky for me I was watching the door, since Corobath and the barkeep come upstairs and start knocking on our door!! Now, I'm a damn fine actor, so I's convince him that we is them passed out fellas and they leave us alone. We ties them up and head out to the boat for a good nights sleep.

"Too bad we didn't get it.
"Some time later, just as the bed was getting warm and the dreams good, we hear a couple of fellas breaking into the inn. Now, Rudolpho tells us that they broke into his room, looked at both of them and then went rushing out. He was making his escape and caught a look at these fellas whipping that noble Fredrick. He managed to make it back to the boat and we got him hid pretty good. Elpham decides to see what is going on so he armours up and heads up to the inn. I was hoping that that would be the end of all that, but next thing I know I'm awakened by a horde of guards. They started claiming that we is all under arrest by order of the Gravin and we'll be locked in our rooms until morning.
"See, the Gravin was supposed to be exercising one of them noble rights, by challenging someone to trial by combat instead of arguing through lawyers, which is why that Bruno fella was travelling with her. But someone, and maybe it was the same fellas that horse whipped poor Fredrick, stabbed and killed Bruno during the night. The lady must have been desperate, 'cause next I hear, Elpham is her new champion.

"So, now Corobath and me is locked in a room, and I'm trying to figure our how to get us out of this mess, when someone else decides to mess about with my sleep. Them nobles, always thinking about themselves and not about the rest of us. Anyway, the Gravin done wake us up and rush us into Elphams room, where she starts telling us that she figures that someone is trying to kill her champions and that since Elpham is the new champion, we have to protect him during the night.

"Now, I can't say that I was happy with all this, but she was right. Things had just settled down when some fool starts crawling through the window. I jumped on him damn quick and held him down while the others laid a few hits on him. Of course, he realized that I had him beaten, so he surrendered right quick. We trussed him up and handed him over to the guards and finally managed to get some sleep.

"The morning was a bit better for us....seems that we got us some extra breakfast, on account of there being 8 dead people in the inn. Now I understand how and why Bruno was killed. And how Fredrick died is pretty clear although I never did figure out why. And them 3 travellers must have tried to do something stupid...yeah...they wasn't murdered in their sleep by a lawyer type...nope...no killing by lawyers. What really was a puzzler was why them three priests of Mor was killed. And it's best not to think about why their killer took the head of the body they was carrying. I'd still like to know what happened to that warrior woman, but I'm sure that she could handle whatever came her way.

"So we finish breakfast and the Gravin gives us some thanks and a sack full of coins and sends us on our way. We got the boat sailing in record time that morning.

"We had Magdelaine make a note on them maps of hers. Yet another place that we wasn't welcome back at. We were worried that if this kept up, we'd have to move out to Brittonia.