Monday, August 08, 2005

WFRP Update 27

The day passed with excrutiating slowness. It seemed as if a week had passed instead of a day before the familiar darkness started to creep around the tavern. I watched the door eagerly, hoping that each squeak would bring the tale teller to my table once again.
It was, therefore, with much surprise that I heard the chair beside me move and I looked over to see that familiar, smiling face peering at me. Those inquisitive eyes studying every portion of my face. That never closed mouth asking that now oh so familiar question; "Where's my beer son"?

I could hardly contain my eagerness as I waited for his drink to arrive and for him to take that first long draw. Each second dragged past as if simply passing the time was a great chore.

"I can see it in your eyes son", he began. "You're damn near ready to explode, so I guess that it be time for me to begin my tale. Now, after we finished off them abominations that was posing as the castle guards, some of my less stout hearted companions were a bit startled and bolted out the door. Myself, I was busy making sure than them demon-shat things was never going to walk the world again. So, when I managed to get out the door, the only living being I could see, that wasn't hiding in a house, was the backside of the dwarf. He was huffing and puffing and heading across town as fast as them little legs could pump. I managed to catch up with him and I turned him in the direction of the temple. Where else would someone go to seek shelter from the forces of evil, but the hallowed halls of Sigmar's house?"
"When we got there, we sat down in the records room while I waited for the rest of my plan to fall into place. Don't be givin' me that look longshanks!! I had a plan brewing since those tin cans walked into the tavern. If they be looking for people who are causing them trouble, then all we had to do was cause some trouble and those same people would be coming looking for us. Common enemies and all that sort of saying."
"And sure enough, we soon be hearing a knock on the door and there be Hilda, telling us that the guards are searching for us and that we would be safer coming with her. Now, I didn't want to break the girl of her delusions, since I can handle myself in any scrap, but I needed to meet with her people, so we follow along behind her."
"She takes us on some extra long trek through those chaos infected woods, trying to get us lost, but she done forget that as long as we can see the castle, we can find our way back. Anyway, before too long, we end up in this clearing in the woods. They must have found the only uninfected piece of earth in that whole damn region, 'cause for once, I didn't feel like something was trying to slowly choke the life out of me.
"And who do we see being led in soon afterwards; the rest of my hardy band. Although I must say that I wasn't very impressed with their new found fashion sense. Sacks over the heads may be all the rage in Brittonia, but for a trek through the woods they is just not practical. So, once again, it be up to me to save my companions from being roasted over an open pit. I simply stepped up and explained to them all who I was and how I was there to save their downtrodden souls and they almost started worshiping me on the spot. My companions get freed and they start blathering on about the evils that they are facing and on and on and on.
"Now, the first time you get to hear such things they sound really great, but after a while you just start to tune them out. Their leader be going on and on about something that I wasn't much paying attention to until I hear those wonderful words...."secret passage into the castle". See, all this damn walking and stomping about in the woods and up and down mountain sides made me realize that I was born to be borne along on the gentle waves. And since that bitch had done gone and stole my boat, I was looking for ANY opportunity to get my revenge and recover my boat. So now my ears are all perked up and I'm paying attention. They think that there be some secret but dangerous way into the castle through some caves. They was telling us how we could get there and back before nightfall and scout out the area ourselves. Well, I couldn't pass up that opportunity, so I quickly round up them lazy companions of mine and get Hilda to guide us and away we go.
"We had been marching for some time and getting close when we see a patrol of them chaos infested guards patrolling the woods. And if we needed any more indications of their evilness we had it then and there. Walking in front of them all was one of them foul mutated beastmen. Damn thing had a nose that was as long as an arrow. It was like they was using it as a sniffer dog or something.
"Now here's a measure of my companions. We had already defeated 3 of these abominations without even breakin' a sweat. Now we done see 6 of them on foot, with some captain or who knows what riding a horse, leading the beastman. I admit, twice as many foes does generally mean trouble, but a push over is still a push over. So while I stand there and prepare to smite these bastards, the rest of the heroic companions jump into the trees and try to hide. They must have listened to those campfire stories that old ladies tell to children in order to frighten them into behaving once too many times. Only Magdelaine stood beside me, pulling those eldrick energies from the eather and putting them to some strange use. I never did understand how causing herself to glow blue helped us, but I'm sure that it was some sort of wizard trick.

"So once these foul dogs got close enough I started letting lose with my trusty sling. Damn bastards started moving around so much I couldn't tell which one I had hit before, so I just kept knocking whatever one I could get a shot on. Now, I done tell Elpham that he should be bathing more often, but that damn dwarven stubborness just wouldn't let him listen to me and it finally caused him trouble. That nosy beastman must have been able to smell sweaty dwarf miles away and it rushed him with nary a thought. I should have been paying more attention to what was going on, but I was concerned about Elpham and took my eyes off of the goons for a second and they caught me with a bolt right in the chest. Damn thing nearly knocked me to the ground! But they saw that I could dance around their feeble attempts at archery and started rushing towards us. Now this was the time that my fearless companions decided to jump from the woods and start swinging their blades. I must have forgotten to give them their inspirational speech that morning or something. The fight lasted forever. Hilda and myself was knocking arrows and stones into whatever beast stepped away enough for us to get a clear shot, but other than that it was if I was watching some sort of play. Thrust; parry; swing; dodge. It was as if everyone had forgotten how to use a blade!! Oh sure! Elpham dropped that chaos beastman with a single blow, but anyone can kick a sick dog. I think that them damn guards did more damage to us with their fetid breath than with any of their blades. Although Magdelaine needs a few lessons in how to avoid a pointy stick. Things were getting so desperate that Hilda, sweet petite little Hilda waded in with her blade and dropped not just one guard, but the captain as well!! Ahh, if only that woman had been 3 feet shorter she would have been perfect. The lady needed a bit more armor, however, since one of the guards got lucky and opened her up a good one. Nothing fatal, but it would leave a scar. That was the time when I just could not contain my rage any more. I pulled out the trusty dagger and rushed into the fray. That seemed to be the motivation that my companions needed, because we started dropping them bastards like trees right after that. One of them tried to run, but Hilda introduced what was left of his brain to her arrows and that stopped him cold.

The little man downed his ale and slid off of his seat and he started to head for the door.
"Just thinking about that fight pisses me off!! So much for the great fighting abilities of the dwarfs! At least Corobath got smart and picked up a real sword after that. And Rudolpho!! By Sigmar's Hammer!! Where did the boy learn to fight? Was he taught by a blind pacifist? I pity the day when I'm not around to save him.

He disappeared into the night, still muttering to himself. It would appear that the story would have to wait until tomorrow night.